They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Do you believe that?

Someone invites you out to eat and picks up the tab. They want something from you. Maybe they need it. It could just be your time, your expertise, or even just your presence. You might even pay for someone’s lunch just so you can be seen with them.

That’s what happens with celebrities. Think about it. You win a silent auction to have dinner with a well-known athlete. All the money goes to charity. But you get something out of it, right? You get to be seen with them. Hopefully your friends walk in, or better yet your boss!

That athlete gets a free meal, but not really. They are giving you the privilege of their presence.

When Jesus walked up to Levi in mark 2, he offered to have dinner with him. Think about what that meant to Levi. To his family, to his parents. This well-known rabbi was going to be at his house, was going to sit at his table, was going to have a meal with him.

“Make sure your neighbors find out,” Levi’s mom would have told him.

“Ask him what he thinks of the new governor, Pilate,” his dad suggested.

“Can we come too?” asked his friends.

Levi would have been embarrassed by that last one. My friends? But they’re all…sinners?

He finally, sheepishly, asks Jesus.

And Jesus says, “Sure! I’d love to meet them. The more the merrier!”

There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

You may be thinking ahead a bit. Levi left everything behind. He left his job as a tax collector. He became a disciple, leaving home and family. He didn’t get a free lunch. He gave all.

Well, sure he gave all. But he actually traded all for something better. Being a part of a famous rabbi’s entourage. There was a lot of esteem that Levi now had. There were a lot of benefits. He would have a front row seat for the greatest miracle worker the world has ever seen.

And those sinners who came to dinner. They didn’t give a thing! There was no entrance fee. There was no requirement. They just showed up. They got free food and an audience with the Son of God.

But there are no free lunches.

Who paid for that meal? I don’t mean who bought the ingredients, who prepare the dishes, who hired the servants. I mean who paid the ultimate cost?

Jesus would face extreme criticism for his actions, for being at the table with sinners. The experts of religious law would start talking about him behind his back and would ridicule him to his face.

Jesus paid the price of religious reputation. He paid the price of persistent opposition.

But there was a higher price paid.

You might be tempted to think that Jesus sat at that table and said, “Okay, sinners. Here’s the deal. I’m the Son of God, the holy one. Emphasis on holy. That means you all need to bring something to this meal.”

But he didn’t do that. Instead, he traded straight across.

Their sins for his righteousness. That was the cost of attendance.

2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV)

²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

In other words, Jesus – who knew no sin – made a trade with sinners – who knew no righteousness. “Your sin for my righteousness. I’ll become the sin, you become righteous. Deal?”

The price for that meal was paid through the cross. Jesus gave up all. Not Levi. Not his parents. Not his friends. No sinner ever gave up more than Jesus did.

There are no free lunches. But Jesus offers us free life…and grace and righteousness and peace.

And he picks up the tab.

Here’s some theology for you. It’s pretty simple to say, but incredibly hard to understand. I know I still struggle with this concept. Okay, here it is: Jesus is both fully human and fully divine.

The big theological term is “incarnation.” That means that God himself put on flesh and lived like a regular person with us. We celebrate it every Christmas, with baby Jesus and the manger and the shepherds and the angels. We put together a nativity scene and set it up next to a Santa Claus, maybe.

But in that simple scene is a powerful principle. I can’t figure it out. One way it doesn’t work is to take the Gospels, all four of them, and start cutting them up. “Okay, here is where Jesus was a man. And over here he was definitely God. This story he’s a man, but maybe he’s God in that story.”

In every story you read, he is fully God and fully man. Both at the same time. It’ll make your head hurt if you think about it too long.

But here’s one way that it doesn’t really hurt. I think it sort of clicks for me when I read that story of Jesus touching the leper (Mark 1:40-42). We read that story this week. When he reached out a human hand he sparked a divine opportunity.

If you were around in Jesus’ day, and you touched a leper, you would be considered unclean. Those were the rules laid out in the Old Testament, in the book of Leviticus. But when Jesus did it? He didn’t become unclean, the leper became clean.

A human action, a divine reaction.

A human gesture, a divine opportunity.

We are not divine. In any percentage. But we do bear a divine mark of salvation. Paul explains that it is the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. But make no mistake, we are not in any way divine ourselves.

But what we do can start that same divine spark that Jesus had. Our human gestures have the power of divine opportunity. Our human actions can reflect divine reactions. Our human hands can be the hands of God.

When we reach out and touch the untouchable, we are not just doing what Jesus did. We are acting on his behalf. We are doing it by divine order. He didn’t touch the leper and say, “Stand back, disciples. Don’t touch this leper. Only I can.”

He was inviting us to touch the untouchable. He was showing the way for his followers to go. He was making the path clear – you have the same divine calling to go where God leads.

We don’t have the power to make the unclean clean. We don’t have power to forgive sin on God’s behalf. Not like Jesus did. But we do have the responsibility to touch on his behalf.

We can be the hands of Jesus when we reach out to those who society around us consider unclean. Who are outcasts, who are the lowest of lows, who are put on the bottom rung. Who are forgotten or overlooked. Who are made to feel less than.

And when we reach out, we are pulling them up. Never getting pulled down. We put them on the same ground as us, level ground. We treat them as equals even when the world wants to put us all in separate categories.

So this week, find those who are needing a hand, needing us to reach out. To pull up. To confirm and affirm. To say, “You belong with us, on our level. All of us, on the same ground.”

And when you do that, you are being divine.

Hagar. The Bible has a lot to say about her, actually. She’s an Egyptian slave. She’s an outsider. She’s the mother of Ishmael, and Ishmael is often characterized as the son of the flesh, while his half-brother Isaac is the son of the promise.

But when you really open it up and start to read it – like we did this past weekend – you see some striking things. First of all, Hagar is visited by God. She has an encounter with “the Angel of the Lord,” which is almost always the way the covenant God reveals himself to his people. But she’s not “his people.”

Also, she receives a promise. That her own son would be blessed, would be victorious, would also be a great father.

But most importantly, she gives God a name. Who else does that in scripture? But this woman was so struck by this encounter and this promise that she can’t help but shout out and rejoice and praise the living God by giving him some sort of descriptor – “El Roi,” the God who sees.

Hagar was an Egyptian slave, purchased by Abraham. No one really saw her. When they did, they only saw her as property. Sarah saw her as a way to remain in Abraham’s good graces, by providing a son. And no one saw her as she slipped from the camp late one night, her belly round and pregnant.

But God saw her. He didn’t just see her, he saw through her and beyond her. He saw her potential and her pain and her promise. And he revealed himself to her.

In that one act, God established a spiritual practice of noticing. When God sees us, it’s more than a passing glance. It’s a searching and revealing. It’s a deep, lingering look that gets to the heart.

And he invites us into this spiritual practice. What does it really mean to notice?

When you see that cashier at the store who handed back the wrong change, what do you see? Do you see a mistake…or do you see a single mom, working multiple shifts at multiple jobs, trying to not only make ends meet but provide a better tomorrow for her kids?

When you get cut off in traffic, what do you see? Some inept driver who couldn’t be bothered to use a turn signal…or do you see a man in a state of emergency, trying to get home because he just found out some bad news, news that distracted him but also drives him to find answers?

When you see the police arresting someone, their hands on the back of a cruiser while the cop frisks them, what do you see? A common criminal…or a person at the end of their rope, hoping beyond hope for a lenient sentence, who is in desperate need of redemption?

When you have lunch with a friend, what do you see? Someone with no real needs or cares in the world…or someone hiding, covering up some shame, obsessing over a long ago guilt, dying inside because of some hurt and pain?

What will it take to see through and beyond the exterior that so many of us put up? We have to get in tune with God’s Spirit, to really see like he does. When he saw Hagar, he saw what no one else saw. It changed her life. It set a destiny of her child. And her child’s children. It meant the world to her, but it also meant greater things.

When we see people, let’s really see them. Engage in this spiritual practice of noticing by disengaging from judgment. There’s enough of that going around. Instead, let’s really look deep to find what is hidden, what God wants to reveal, and release a promise of hope to those in need.

I hope you’ve been practicing some civil conversations the last three weeks. I know I have, but it’s been tough. But I’ve learned a lot. And I don’t want to stop! I want to keep going.

Jesus warned us against words that were empty. I think the best way to accomplish that is make sure our words are full. But full of what? I’m sure you know some people that you’d say their words are full of hot air. Or maybe full of something else. But that’s really just another way to say empty.

What our words need to be full of is grace. That need to be graceful.

Colossians 4:6

⁶ Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Let me give you some very practical ways to make sure those conversations are civil, your words are seasoned with salt, and your mouth is full of grace. I think we all know how to say empty words – words that are thoughtless, are condescending or arrogant, words that tear down rather than build up. But to speak words full of grace takes time, patience, listening, and thinking.

So here are a few thoughtless words. Instead of saying this…why not try this? And maybe these examples can help you think of other words in your own life you’d like to kick.

Instead of, “I can’t believe you did that!”

Say, “Can you help me understand your intention?”

Okay, I’ll be honest. This one is mostly for parents. How many times have you hurled off that line? I know I have – maybe even this week! While we may be trying to help teach our kids, those words can often just heap up shame. We make them feel less than, unloved, or uncared for. But thinking it through will open up a conversation where both of you can learn and grow.

Instead of, “I’m not listening to you anymore!”

Say, “Until there are some changes, I’m not sure we should continue this.”

There may be times when conversation and communication is impossible. We can either shut down – a passive aggressive move – or shove back – a more up front. Neither of those is great. Instead, calmly explain that you’re disengaging from the conversation because you can’t see eye-to-eye. It doesn’t mean you’re not friends, you don’t like each other, or that you’re unforgivingly mad. It’s just that you know your limits and you’re trying to stay inside of them.

Instead of, “How many times have I told you?”

Say, “Can you explain why this keeps happening?”

Well, here’s another one we use on our kids. But actually, I’m sure some of us have used this against a spouse too. It’s a way to letting them know we’re frustrated because they didn’t follow orders. But maybe there’s something else going on. How can we help each other get what we both want? That’s what graceful conversation creates.

Instead of, “You never do that…you always do this…”

Say, “I feel like this keeps happening…isn’t happening enough…”

“Never” and “always” are conversation killers. Once one of us pulls one of those out, all communication is lost. Why? Because nothing is “never” or “always.” That’s just too constricting. “You never put the dishes away!” “Oh yes I do, because I did it once back in 1999.” “We always watch what you want to watch!” “Don’t you remember when I let you see the Friends finale?” You see. These phrases backfire. Instead, try talking out your feelings some more so that the other person really knows where you’re coming from instead of putting them on the defense.

What are some of the conversation killers you’ve used in the past? Where has your communication with your spouse, your kids, your boss, your sister or brother broken down? How can you get it repaired?

Empty words mean they’re ready to be filled. Why not fill them with grace? Find a way to stuff more and more of it in every conversation you have.

What does it take to make our conversations civil again? What will we need to do – individually – to see that happen? It starts with the tone of our voice, but it goes all the way to the content of our conversations.

In Ephesians, Paul warns his audience – and us! – not to use language that tears down. Instead, use words that build up. The Proverbs talk about the power of our words, how they can either bring life or destroy. So what kind of words tear down?

Those types of words are rotten. That’s Paul’s word, not mine. I would go with something else – offensive. And instead of the picture of spoiled fruit spewing from your mouth…just think about me walking around in yoga pants. Yeah, that’s pretty disturbing isn’t it. That just should not be!

The point is, there are certain things that “should not be” in the church – but they’re there. And one of the areas of largest sin yet smallest attention is in how we talk.

Let me get real practical and share a few of those areas with you. Here are five things that should never come from the mouth of a believer.

Racism

There is absolutely no place in the body of Christ for people to judge others based on the color of their skin. That goes for nationality and ethnicity as well. Racism is the degradation of God’s creation. It’s when we pass judgment on how God made another person, specifically the color of their skin. It’s a dig at the heart of God, actually.

When we talk about someone using racially insensitive terms or use subtle remarks that paint them in a bad light, we are sinning. It’s that simple.

Racism is dangerous. It has led, in the past, to slavery, segregation, apartheid, and even worse. But it’s not the major sins of racism that we wee a lot. It’s the more casual way we express it. In off-handed remarks. In little sayings that have a racist origin but we never considered it. It’s this casual racism that we must be diligent in removing from our speech, because it’s from those small seeds that racism will grow.

Sexism

If racism is about judging God’s work in the color of someone’s skin, then sexism is doing the same when it comes to gender. Again, sexism has no place in the Body of Christ.

We usually cover this up with a blanket, “I was just joking.” But is it really? And we normally think of sexism as having to do with men saying mean things about women. It goes both ways. It’s just as wrong for a female to joke about a male being dumb, ugly, or having bad hygiene.

When we joke about someone else, what’s the purpose of it? What’s the true intent? Is it really to lighten the mood? If so, there are a hundred other ways to do it without belittling someone else’s gender. Think twice before sharing that joke.

Classism

This is a more overlooked form of prejudice. But you and I both know that this happens. In fact, we may be guilty of it too. We look down on someone because they are less fortunate. Or we pity them. We speak in soft whispers when we talk about where they live.

There are a multitude of reasons that you and I and anyone else have the amount of resources we have. From family upbringing and privilege to unforeseen tragedies and unfortunate events. When we talk bad about someone’s financial state, we’re not doing it to help them out but to make us feel better. And that’s a no-win scenario.

Gossip

Gossip is the most prevalent and least talked about sin in the church. Pure and simple, it is perhaps the biggest issue facing us today. Gossip only tears down, never builds up.

I’m sure you’ve heard some juicy gossip that was Christianized. What’s that mean? It means we share something about someone else – something that is secret or demeaning or embarrassing – but we baptize it with “We should pray about it.” Instead of sharing the details, just share your heart! What is in your heart when you decide to gossip? It’s usually not to build up, but to bring down.

Bad-Mouthing

This is maybe the easies. This is when we are in the heat of the situation and we just let it rip. Someone cuts us off in traffic – “Hey jerk! Learn how to drive!” Our boss doesn’t give us that raise we want – “I’m sick and tired of looking at his face!” A politician takes a position we disagree with – “They’re so stupid! I can’t believe they got elected!”

When we bad-mouth, it’s quick and to the point. We lob a grenade hoping to destroy their character or maybe just turn someone onto our side, to share that anger with. I think because it’s so quick and easy, we often just cover it up.

The solution to stop all these patterns of “rotten” speech is to think before you speak. Really think about it. Take a moment and pause before you say that thing you were thinking about saying. Ask yourself if it would really improve the silence around you. If not? Keep it to yourself. And that may be the most spiritual advice I can give you when it comes to our words.

Have you ever wondered what the world is really worth? Maybe you should think about it. Jesus shares some thoughts on the subject.

³⁶ What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

Mark 8:36

So, if you could gain the whole world, what would you get?

First of all, if you’re looking for a dollar amount, then the Federal Reserve has that for you. They calculate that in America alone there is $1.5 Trillion floating around in coins and bills. Go global and the number increases to $5 Trillion.

But if you add to that things like “non-physical” dollars, such as savings and checking accounts, money-market accounts, and stocks and bonds, the number increase quite a bit. For the entire planet it reaches something like $80 Trillion.

But what if everyone in the whole world cashed in everything they owned – all their possessions, including houses, yachts, cars, helicopters, clothing, even that old toothbrush – and cashed out. How much would the whole world be worth? The estimate is about $241 Trillion.

Of course, I’m not sure who would be paying for it. If everyone cashed out at once, who has the money to but it all? Maybe aliens? But let’s keep going.

Let’s convert all that cash to hundreds and make a big stack. It would reach over 160,000 miles high, that’s over halfway to the moon! Now, knock the stack over and spread it all out in a single layer. There’s enough cash to cover the entire state of Vermont.

Why stop there! We all want to make more money, right? So let’s slap a “For Sale” sign on the earth and sale to the highest bidder. Factoring in all the natural resources of our planet, this big hunk of dirt is worth a whopping $5 Quadrillion!

$5,000,000,000,000,000.00

That’s really unimaginable. There’s really no way of understanding just how much the world is worth. Now consider this – Jesus said that if you had that much money, but lost your soul…you’d be bankrupt.

In other words, even though the entire world’s value is unimaginable, your soul is worth so much more than that! Inconceivable!

But it’s true! God’s value that he has placed on you is so much higher than you think. He decided it was worth giving everything he has for it – he gave his own son to save your soul. We use the word “redeem,” which is a great word in this example. Because there’s a monetary equivalent to this thing. God paid the price for your own soul, to redeem it.

But there are many in the world who would short change their own soul. They put a very low price on it. It’s not worth kicking an old habit or sticky addiction. It’s not worth fifteen minutes alone with Jesus each day. It’s not worth choosing humility over arrogance.

These are the kind of things we do to take care of our souls. We turn from temptation. We think of others before ourselves. We get alone with our God often.

What is your soul worth? How do you treat it?

We treat a brand new, high priced car much differently than an older, run-down car, right? Be honest. You would never eat in a new car. You wouldn’t even sneak a fry after hitting the drive through! But that old car you had back in college? The one with the seats that were worn out, the tires that were balding, and the sun visor that never really stayed put anymore? You’d eat chili in that thing. Why? Because you just don’t value it as much.

When I think of my soul as being as valuable as the price God puts on it, I will do things differently. We will live selfless lives. We will be willing to take up our cross. We will follow Jesus. That’s how Jesus taught us to take care of our souls.

If he saw value in them, then we should too. And our valuation should match his own.

This weekend we talked about a very difficult topic. It’s one that pretty much all of us have deep-seated opinions about. But we usually keep those opinions to ourselves.

Let me just share with you the proverb that I preached from this weekend. I think this will explain it.

Proverbs 6:27-29 

²⁷ Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? ²⁸ Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? ²⁹ So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.

This passage was written from the perspective of a father to his son. But it’s true for mothers and daughters as well. It’s something that every single person and married couple need to come to grips with. Sexual faithfulness.

At least, that’s the application here. Sleeping around is like shoveling hot coals in your lap. That’s not a picture that you’ll soon forget. And when you see someone in danger – especially your child – you will do anything to stop them, right?

Although sexual faithfulness is the application, there is more underneath it all. There is more to being faithful to your spouse than just not sleeping with someone else. Although it may seem like affairs are rampant everywhere, there’s more to faithfulness than just staying true in the bedroom.

How else do we stray from the covenant we made with our spouse? Well, we can cheat on them with our jobs, our hobbies, even other family members. When we put any of those things or those people ahead of our relationship with our spouse, we are being unfaithful.

Most counseling articles you read on faithfulness in marriage are about sexual purity. And though that’s important, it’s just the tip of the iceberg. To ignore the other issues is just as dangerous.

But another thing we tend to ignore is the reason and motive behind our faithfulness. Sexual cheating can lead to STDs, unwanted pregnancies, or worse. So there is a prescriptive and protective element to our faithfulness. “Stay true to your spouse or deal with all of these consequences!”

What if we looked at it differently? What if, instead of just putting a negative stamp on unfaithfulness we celebrated the overwhelming joy and positivity of faithfulness? What if we made that the standard of every marriage?

Faithfulness is not a prescription to stay healthy. It is the pattern to remain happy in your marriage. It is really the only way to keep your marriage what it is. As Catherin Wallace points out in her book For Fidelity, without faithfulness you don’t have a marriage, you aren’t a husband or wife. You are something else. An individual.

Marriage is about two becoming one. It’s not one plus one equals two…who happen to share the same bed and same house and maybe the same bank account. It’s two individuals entering into a covenant that binds them together. Without faithfulness, there is now binding. Without a covenant, you have a transaction. You’re doing business. You have a partnership, not a marriage.

Faithfulness it he root of happiness in marriage. It’s not something we grudgingly do because a pastor told us, because it would be dangerous not to, or because we think about the kids. It’s something that is intrinsic to the marriage relationship.

And because it’s so important, it’s something we should practice. Like a musical talent or an athletic ability, you have to keep doing it to get better at it. You may never be perfect at it. In fact, you won’t. But you can always improve. It’s about living out that “US-ness” that defines the marriage covenant. It’s about putting ourselves last and others first in how we live. It’s putting into action ways that we can serve our spouse rather then be served.

Marriage is incredible, but it’s also hard. Sometimes it’s incredibly hard. But it’s always worth it.

At Northbrook Church, we’ve been walking through the Proverbs all summer long. I hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as I have. I know that I have learned some things I never knew before and re-learned some things that I might have forgotten.

I should be honest. I really didn’t know that the Proverbs speak so much to aging. But I was very happy to be able to share some of those truths with you. Remember, proverbs are things that are un understood to be generally true. So what is generally understood to be true about growing older?

In our culture, it’s generally understood that ageing is a negative. We have “anti-aging” lotions and medications. We have botox and hair care products that promise to turn the clock back. Why is that? Because we have a culturally distorted view of aging.

Within the realm of the world, growing older sometimes means being slower, both physically and mentally. It might even mean getting in the way. It could be a headache and a problem.

But within the realm of God’s Word, it’s the exact opposite. Our faith offers us a better way to live and age in a culture that worships at the fountain of youth. A way that gets beyond the stereotypes of aging

Proverbs 20:29

²⁹ The glory of young men is their strength,

gray hair the splendor of the old.

Proverbs 16:31

³¹ Gray hair is a crown of splendor;

it is attained in the way of righteousness.

To come to that way of thinking, turning from culture and toward God’s understanding of aging, takes learning what it really means to grow older. We need to see it as a very natural and normal part of our spiritual journey. It’s expected. God never intended us to live forever here on this earth in these bodies. Aging is all part of his great design.

So if you’re younger and mock those who are older, look out. You’re on your way to being older. In fact, you’re older now than when you started reading this blog post!

But it can also cause other problems. Researchers have found that those who had a negative view of the elderly while younger experienced an increase in health problems and decreased mental capacity later in life. They despised the old, but then became what they despised.

One of the guiding values of Northbrook is, “Generations need each other.” The older need the younger, but the younger need the older as well. Mending that generation gap will take some work. Because we’ve been conditioned as young people against the elderly, but as older humans, we’ve been conditioned just as much to look down on the younger.

Our elders. We are trained to think they are out of touch. That they need to step aside and let us advance.

Our youth. We are trained to think that their opinions don’t matter. That they only listen to loud music and watch obnoxious shows. They don’t know enough yet!

Both of those views are dead wrong. And both of them are based on negative stereotypes. We need to shatter those stereotypes and create a new place where young and old are loved.

Whatever age you are, you are different than those younger and older than you. But you’re different. That doesn’t mean wrong. It doesn’t mean it’s a problem. It doesn’t mean better or worse. We’re just different. And we need to push into our differences and see them as gifts from God as he creates a beautiful tapestry of faith here at Northbrook.

Those of us who are younger, we need to honor those who are older. Leviticus 19:32 says, “‘Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.” In other words, respecting those who are older than you are is how you revere God. How we treat our elders is a direct reflection of how we treat our God.

Those of us who are older, we need to respect those who are younger. That means we encourage when it’s easier to judge. That we invest when it’s simpler to ostracize. That we listen more than we correct. Remember, we were in their shoes once. How much better would our lives be if we had more voices from those older than us? How much richer our families, our ministries, if we had more people investing in us?

That’s more than just a dream, it’s a destiny. We will all get older. It’s the one thing we all have in common. And as we age, we look forward with honor and backward with respect. When we do that, we can make this world even better.

How generous are you? On a scale of one to ten, how well do you do? I imagine that all of us would put ourselves somewhere above 5. In fact, studies have shown that most people consider themselves in the top ten percent of generous, kind, and caring people. Think about that for a second, because I’m not a math wizard but those numbers don’t add up.

None of us would ever call ourselves selfish. Well, maybe you would. In a moment of clarity, you may realize that your current choice is self-centered and confess. But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about naming ourselves as selfish most of the time.

“I’m a selfish person.” Usually, we don’t hear someone say that. Rarely. If ever.

At the same time, though, I think that most of us live in an area in between selfish and generous. None of us are totally selfish…but none of us are totally generous either. It’s all circumstantial.

We’ve been looking at Proverbs lately. And that word really helps describe these riddles of the wise – circumstantial. Depending on the circumstances, here’s how you should live. And depending on any given set of variables we will either be kind and generous or selfish and miserly.

But this week’s Proverb doesn’t really teach us to consider our circumstances and either withhold or give. No, instead it teaches us about a state of mind we should have at all times. We need to honor God with what we’ve got.

Proverbs 3:9

Honor the Lord with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;

If we live in a sort of back-and-forth between those two poles, though, how do we fulfill this scripture? How do we live lives that honor the Lord? It can be tough.

Paul talked about the back-and-forth life a lot. In Romans 7 he gives an example of someone who wants to do the right thing but just can’t. In Ephesians 4 he encourages us to throw off the old self and put on a new self. And in Galatians 5 he gets to the heart of the matter.

Galatians 5:17

For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other so that you are not to do whatever you want.

There is this struggle inside of me. It’s between my true self and my false self, the me I want to be and the other “me.” In the letter to the Corinthian church, Paul lays it on the line – “That old self is dead, it’s gone for good!” And you read that and you think, “Wait a minute…I know what’s going on inside of me. And that doesn’t match up.”

What is happening inside is a struggle. It’s a battle. It’s a war! The flesh on the one side (selfish) and the Spirit on the other (generous, life-giving). And we live in that tension.

It is a tension that causes me to be outrageously generous at times and outrageously selfish at others. It means that sometimes I just want to be left alone with the TV remote in my hand and not answer the phone. It also means I sit down and listen – really listen – to how my wife’s day went. It means that I really want to spend that money on me. It also means that I follow my thankful and broken heart and give a little bit more to that need.

It’s a tension. And we don’t resolve it, we live in it. And we lean into the Spirit. Notice it’s a capital “S.” In the original Greek, there were no cases. At least in the documents that we have of these letters and books. So the English translators have made a call that what Paul is talking about isn’t some inner working of our own human selves. It’s not the interior counterpart of our exterior flesh. It’s capital “S” Spirit.

That means when we lean into the Spirit, we aren’t leaning on some other part of ourselves. We’re leaning on God. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The Triune, three-in-one. The living God living in us.

When we lean on ourselves, whether our flesh, our minds, our self-will, we will invariably end up losing out in the tension. But when we lean on God, we can live generous lives. That means I give more, I save more, and I enjoy what I have left. I can’t do that on my own, though. It can only come from God.

Do you believe?

When my kids were little and they were trying something new, like diving off the high board, I would encourage them. “I believe in you!”

I wasn’t saying, “I agree and give intellectual assent that you exist.” Believing in them was based on a relationship.

When I first met my wife, I believed that it was the beginning of something amazing.

Not that I had studied it and could answer all the right questions when it came to a test about who she was. Believing was based on a relationship.

So when we come to God, and I ask that question, “Do you believe in him?” Why is it that we immediately start looking for the scantron or the answer sheet? We pick up a number 2 pencil and start scratching our heads.

“What do you mean by believe? What am I supposed to believe? Which version or translation of the Bible do you want me to use? Which set of catechisms am I supposed to confer with? What creed do I memorize?”

All of those things have their place. But they remove one very important – the most important! – aspect of belief. Relationship.

The word believe means more than thinking right thoughts about God it means to have confidence in God. To trust in God doesn’t mean we pass the test with flying colors. It means that we put all of our hopes, dreams, aspirations, and affections on him. We have full confidence that – even though we don’t have all the right answers – he will see us through.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship and when you lose trust it is a long difficult road getting it back. Do you know the only way that you can 100% be sure you can trust someone? It’s by trusting them. Only then can you know if they are trustworthy. Sounds like a risky proposition.

But when it comes to this life, we have two options – God or ourselves. The writer of Proverbs 3:5-6 says that when we put all that trust in God, he in turn makes our paths straight. That doesn’t mean every obstacle is removed from our path or every road is easy. It means that our outcome is secure in him.

On the other hand, when we put all of our trust in our own understanding we are left with a shaky foundation and an unsure future.

Jesus put it this way:

²⁴ “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵ The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. ²⁶ But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. ²⁷ The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Matthew 7:24-27

To hear Jesus’ voice and respond to it. That’s the ultimate measure of trust in him. And trust is the ultimate expression of belief.

So let’s get back to belief. It’s not the content of Jesus’ words that made the difference. It was the person’s willingness to follow through. Both people heard, they understood, they knew the right answer. But one failed to put it into action while the other one went all in on Jesus’ words.

What made the difference? It was relationship. The one closest to Jesus was willing to go all the way and put them into practice. We spent a few weeks talking about those practices. They aren’t some spiritual short cut, but a full expression of our relationship with God. It’s the same with wisdom.

I’m never going to have all the answers on this side of eternity. I don’t need to. Sometimes I think I do. When the path starts to get a little bumpy, maybe even curvy, I tend to panic and grasp for the answer key. But then that’s putting my trust in my own understanding.

Instead, when I throw all my trust onto God, I know he’s going to see us through and everything will be all right. How do I know that? Because of my relationship with him.