During my sermon this week, I mentioned the role Desmond Tutu had in the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. It was a group established to restore unity in South Africa following the dismantling of apartheid. Nelson Mandela asked who he wanted on the commission. Desmond Tutu wanted victims. Not just those who suffered pain, but those who forgave their enemies.

He called these men and women “Wounded Healers.”

Here’s a quick definition of what that means: Wounded Healers are people who have endured great hardship and pain and use their own brokenness to help others.

In every tragedy, we have the ability to find something redemptive. Because of our brokenness, not in spite of it, we can become agents of change and ambassadors of comfort. We collect tools along with the wounds. These can be lessons we’ve learned, empathy we’ve gained, or some greater pain somebody has been spared because of our suffering.

If you do a search on the term wounded healer, you’ll find that psychology has a long history of studying this phenomenon. But I believe God has a longer history of using our stories – the good parts and bad parts – to transform us into healers.

Think through stories of tragedy and triumph in the Bible. Because Ruth refused to abandon her mother in law after the death of her husband, she became part of God’s story in returning Israel to greatness through her grandson, King David. Or how about Paul, who lived a life of religious perfection but found it bankrupt, and then helped free others from that same religiosity, showing them a path to freedom through faith in Christ alone.

At the point of your greatest pain, God has a way to use your story for someone else’s good. As a wounded healer, you can reach out to someone with a similar hurt. Whatever you experienced, you can find someone else in the same predicament. And then you can show them hope and healing.

Think of it this way. Have you ever broken a bone? I’m sure you’ve got a great story about it! And I’m sure it was no fun wearing a cast and being restricted for at time. But did you know broken bones grow back stronger? It’s true! A portion of that bone actually creates a barrier to support the surrounding area.

Broken bones are stronger. Scar tissue can protect and promote faster healing. Our wounds can heal. Our failures can lead to greater success.

It’s hard to believe because we all want to cover up our faults. No one posts pictures of wounds on Instagram, except to get sympathy. No one brags on Facebook about their failures. We don’t advertise when things go wrong. Instead, we compare ourselves to the pictures of others we see online.

It’s called Social Comparison Theory. It explains how individuals measure themselves against other people. But the problem is we end up comparing our worst day to someone else’s best day. We judge how well our story is based on how many likes, shares, or follows it gets.

What if we judged our story by another measure, a higher one?

What if we found a way to use our scars, bumps, bruises, and even failures for a greater good? What if God transformed that pain into a pathway for hope and healing – not just for us, but for others?

God will rewrite your story if you let him. When you ask him to redeem what you’ve lost, to restore what has failed, and to heal what is broken, he does it. But not without a purpose. And that purpose is so you can help the healing process for someone else.

How is God actively rewriting your story? What pain have you experienced that prepares you to help others?

At Northbrook Church, we’ve immersed ourselves in the stories of Genesis over the summer. Whenever you take a fresh look at an old story, so many new things seem to come to the surface

This week I talked about the culmination of the story between Jacob and Esau. If you remember, they were twins, and even from birth, they had this incredible sibling rivalry. Can you imagine getting into a fight with your brother at the very moment you were born? Well, they did. Making matters worse, Jacob later stole Esau’s birthright and his blessing. Then he skipped town!

In the 33^rd chapter of Genesis he finally comes back home to face his problems. And that’s where we picked up the story. But instead of looking at it through Jacob’s viewpoint, we took Esau’s side.

Now, let me just push pause and ask you what you would do if you were in Esau’s shoes? Have you ever had anyone lie about you or steal from you like Jacob did to Esau? I have, and it doesn’t feel good. It can leave a bad taste in your mouth. But when we choose resentment over forgiveness, it can be like poison.

Harboring un-forgiveness is toxic for your soul. Esau knew that. And we need to learn it. Forgiveness is not releasing people from responsibility but releasing yourself from resentment.

In order to find forgiveness, we have to give up. That’s the very basis of prayer. First, you pray for them. Then pray for yourself. Sometimes, forgiveness is beyond our own ability. But it’s at the center of God’s heart. He can empower you to forgive when it feels like you never could.

I want to go a bit deeper. What do we find when we find forgiveness? Let’s take a look at some benefits of forgiveness.

– Emotional Health

Unforgiveness and resentment are rooted in anger. Maybe it’s well placed anger, especially if you’ve been wronged. But did you know that staying angry can keep you in a constant state of fight-or-flight?

When we hold onto resentment, we are more prone to depression and sadness. We are always on guard for the next person who will turn on us. Maintaining strong, healthy relationships becomes impossible.

But when we forgive, all those symptoms reverse. Some researchers even say it’s automatic and instant! So, if you want to have better relationships, practice daily forgiveness.

– Physical Health

Along with that constant fight-or-flight condition comes higher blood pressure and increased risk of heart attack. It’s true! But in study after study, people who were more forgiving had the opposite reaction.

Here are some other things that you can expect physically when you find forgiveness:

• Lower blood pressure
• Reduced muscle tension
• Increased immune system
• Reduced risk of heart disease and diabetes
• Lower lifetime stress
• Longer lifespan

The best news is that forgiveness can be learned and the results are almost immediate. A person who is more forgiving is just naturally happier about their life. And that leads to less stress, inside and out.

– Spiritual Health

The greatest benefit you can have from being a forgiving person is the spiritual fruit you reap.

In Matthew 6, Jesus teaches us to pray. And he includes this double statement: “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us” In other words, there is a direct link between us forgiving others and being forgiven of our sins – becoming spiritually whole and healthy. Later in that chapter, Jesus warns us that if we hold back on forgiveness and hold onto resentment, there’s a clear danger that our prayers will go unanswered.

But forgiveness goes beyond our prayer life. Look at what Paul instructed the Christians in Ephesus:

Ephesians 4:32

³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

He knew that a healthy, loving, Christ-led community had to be based on mutual forgiveness. When we do that, we become a little bit more like Jesus.

Are you holding onto a grudge? Is there someone you need to forgive? Have you experienced decreased health in one of these areas because of it? How can you move into a new space of forgiveness in your life?

When I began this blog I had really good intentions. I was going to write one or two times a week. That was a pretty lofty goal! Obviously, it has not worked out that way; my last post was in February!

So what happened?

Life.

Things got busy, I have 2 kids, a very demanding job, sometimes I am lazy and sometimes I am just tired, and want to binge watch something and go to bed, so I kept pushing my writing to the “back burner”. Yet, I have some things that I want to share. I have some deep thoughts about life and faith and that very messy place where they intersect. I have decided to give this one more shot. Stay tuned it could be good!