Finding Forgiveness

At Northbrook Church, we’ve immersed ourselves in the stories of Genesis over the summer. Whenever you take a fresh look at an old story, so many new things seem to come to the surface

This week I talked about the culmination of the story between Jacob and Esau. If you remember, they were twins, and even from birth, they had this incredible sibling rivalry. Can you imagine getting into a fight with your brother at the very moment you were born? Well, they did. Making matters worse, Jacob later stole Esau’s birthright and his blessing. Then he skipped town!

In the 33^rd chapter of Genesis he finally comes back home to face his problems. And that’s where we picked up the story. But instead of looking at it through Jacob’s viewpoint, we took Esau’s side.

Now, let me just push pause and ask you what you would do if you were in Esau’s shoes? Have you ever had anyone lie about you or steal from you like Jacob did to Esau? I have, and it doesn’t feel good. It can leave a bad taste in your mouth. But when we choose resentment over forgiveness, it can be like poison.

Harboring un-forgiveness is toxic for your soul. Esau knew that. And we need to learn it. Forgiveness is not releasing people from responsibility but releasing yourself from resentment.

In order to find forgiveness, we have to give up. That’s the very basis of prayer. First, you pray for them. Then pray for yourself. Sometimes, forgiveness is beyond our own ability. But it’s at the center of God’s heart. He can empower you to forgive when it feels like you never could.

I want to go a bit deeper. What do we find when we find forgiveness? Let’s take a look at some benefits of forgiveness.

– Emotional Health

Unforgiveness and resentment are rooted in anger. Maybe it’s well placed anger, especially if you’ve been wronged. But did you know that staying angry can keep you in a constant state of fight-or-flight?

When we hold onto resentment, we are more prone to depression and sadness. We are always on guard for the next person who will turn on us. Maintaining strong, healthy relationships becomes impossible.

But when we forgive, all those symptoms reverse. Some researchers even say it’s automatic and instant! So, if you want to have better relationships, practice daily forgiveness.

– Physical Health

Along with that constant fight-or-flight condition comes higher blood pressure and increased risk of heart attack. It’s true! But in study after study, people who were more forgiving had the opposite reaction.

Here are some other things that you can expect physically when you find forgiveness:

• Lower blood pressure
• Reduced muscle tension
• Increased immune system
• Reduced risk of heart disease and diabetes
• Lower lifetime stress
• Longer lifespan

The best news is that forgiveness can be learned and the results are almost immediate. A person who is more forgiving is just naturally happier about their life. And that leads to less stress, inside and out.

– Spiritual Health

The greatest benefit you can have from being a forgiving person is the spiritual fruit you reap.

In Matthew 6, Jesus teaches us to pray. And he includes this double statement: “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us” In other words, there is a direct link between us forgiving others and being forgiven of our sins – becoming spiritually whole and healthy. Later in that chapter, Jesus warns us that if we hold back on forgiveness and hold onto resentment, there’s a clear danger that our prayers will go unanswered.

But forgiveness goes beyond our prayer life. Look at what Paul instructed the Christians in Ephesus:

Ephesians 4:32

³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

He knew that a healthy, loving, Christ-led community had to be based on mutual forgiveness. When we do that, we become a little bit more like Jesus.

Are you holding onto a grudge? Is there someone you need to forgive? Have you experienced decreased health in one of these areas because of it? How can you move into a new space of forgiveness in your life?