I have been a follower of Jesus for around 26 years. Over those 26 years, I have prayed lots of prayers, but the most common one was and still is “Lord show me your will.” If you are a Christian, you have probably prayed that prayer. Essentially, we are asking God to show us what he wants us to do with our lives or what decisions we should make. If we are honest, when we pray that prayer, we already have an answer tucked away that we simply want God to approve for us. We want Gods will, as long as it is comfortable and lines up with my will.

I have discovered the only way to truly pray that prayer with integrity is come to a place of indifference. Coming to a of indifference allows us to open our whole self to God’s will. It means that we can truly pray “your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, regardless of the outcome.

I first learned of this practice when reading a book by Ruth Haley-Barton. Barton writes:

“The first and most essential dynamic if discernment is the movement toward indifference. In the context of spiritual discernment, indifference is a positive term signifying that ‘I am indifferent to anything but Gods will.’ This is an interior freedom or state of openness to God in which we are free from undue attachment to any particular outcome. There is a capacity to relinquish whatever might keep us form choosing God and love, and we come to a place where we want God and Gods will more than anything-more than ego gratification, more than wanting to look good in the eyes of others, more than personal ownership, comfort, and advantage. We ask God to bring us to a place where we want ‘God’s will, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else’ so that we can pray the prayer of indifference— ‘not my will but thine be done’ (Pursuing Gods will Together p.63).

 Indifference is a tough place to get to. We all have dreams, hopes, aspirations and agendas. Can we really get to a place in which we are actually indifferent to anything but God’s will? How do we even begin to get to that place? Here are 3 things I practice in trying to do this:

Get over myself daily 

I used to have the answers for everything, so I thought. I was arrogant and egotistical. My way was the right way and everyone else was wrong. I had a dream for my life and nothing was going to stop it.  I finally got to the place of humility (I define humility as not thinking more or yourself than you ought, but also not thinking less of yourself). It came through hardship, suffering, and loss. Though those years were painful, I received a gift in them: I got over myself. It was then that God did a deep work in me. It is still hard to be indifferent, but I am getting better at getting out of the way.

Spend time listening 

It’s hard to hear God speak if I am always talking. Most of our prayers (mine included) seem like lists of things we want God to do. What would happen if we stopped talking and began a time of prayer with “I am listening, your will be done”. What would happen if our communities of faith became listening communities? I love this line:

 “Christians at their best are God listeners, and the Christian Church, when most faithful, is a listening community”  -Bishop Ruben Job

 Trust that God knows best, even if it does not always make sense at the moment

The Christian life is a life of faith and a life of dependence on God. When I was a kid, my parents made decisions for me that did not make sense for me at the time. As an adult, I look back and realize they were right. They could see something I could not. God is my father, and he knows what is best even if I don’t see it.

Let us pray “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” and mean it.

Last week I watched the presidential debates. I needed a week to reflect on them before I could comment. For me, what stuck out more than anything else was the way the candidates interacted with each other and with the moderator. I am not interested in getting into a political free-for-all. I want to speak to the plight of declining humanity.  Call me old-fashioned, but whatever happened to common courtesy? I could not get past the fact that the candidates kept calling each other “Donald” and “Hillary.” What ever happened to “Mrs. Clinton” and “Mr. Trump”? Should not those vying for what some would call the most important and powerful office in the world show some trace of respect?   It does not matter what your political ethic is, or what you think of the candidates. Can we not treat one another with some level of kindness? Possibly a little honor? (Colossians 3:12, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”) From the array of the social media posts I have seen this week, it looks like many of us followers of Christ have set the Bible aside, at least when it comes to our thoughts on presidential candidates (again see Colossians 3:12). It is possible to disagree and still shake hands. We can disagree fiercely and still live lovingly. We can let our opinions be known, no matter how strong they are, without being a jerk about it.

Has the presidential election been reduced to which candidate looks worse than the other? That seems to be the strategy. Supporters of each candidate have seemingly taken up the tactics of the one they support and have hated on everything about the opposing candidate. Again, just check out social media; it’s embarrassing. We can support our candidate and still live Christ-like values.

My kids watched part of the debate with me. And what did it teach them? It taught them that it’s ok to cut off someone when they are speaking… That it’s ok not to listen…that when someone says “times up”, they don’t have to be compliant with such “rules”… That common courtesy is an endangered species in our culture. I don’t feel angry or mad, just sad. Maybe it is time to go back to some time-honored values; “Mr.” and “Mrs.” would be a great place to start.