It has been four months since I have written anything. I started this blog a few years ago as an experiment with wild ambitions. My plan was to write twice a week. I have not even come close. Sometimes even the most well-intentioned ideas get derailed by the pressing concerns of the moment. Jobs, careers, and responsibilities are so draining that when we walk in the door at night all we want to do is binge watch Netflix and eat something that inevitably makes us feel worse. Our goals, dreams and passions get put on the shelf next to all the self-help books we bought but never read.
Life is full of starts and stops, healthy ambitions and failed executions. Lethargy wins, the couch and TV call, we mindlessly scroll through the social media posts of people we barely know. We soak in a pool of jealousy at the highlight reels of fantastic lives, leaving us wondering, “What is wrong with me, why can’t I stick with my goals?” Perhaps a better question to ask ourselves is “What is in my daily life, that is valuable, that I am not noticing?”
The Simple Practice of Noticing
The simple practice of noticing is seeing what is there around me. Noticing what is in me. For example, being aware that I ask myself the same questions over and over. “Why is everyone more confident, attractive, intelligent, athletic, talented, (fill in the blank) than me?” This way of thinking dupes us. We start to believe something is wrong with the life we have. How would it change our lives if we began the practice of noticing the blessings that have been there all along?
I read a peculiar story from ancient literature this week about a desert father known as “Moses the Black” (330 AD). The story goes something like this…
A brother came to Scetis to visit Abba Moses and asked him for a word. The old man said to him, ‘Go, sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.’
The challenge of this ancient monk was to go to your cell, “a room”, and simply be quiet, notice what is there. In this cell of silence, we have the opportunity to notice the goodness of God, in the smell of a flower, in the laughter of children, in the warmth of a blanket, in the comfort of friendship. This cell opens space to notice what is happening with our emotions, our thoughts and in our body. We can be honest here about our painful emotions like anxiety and doubt, anger and bitterness, sadness and loneliness. Here we can ask God to be with us in these hard places, the shadow places of the soul while being comforted with the goodness of God in our achievements, and our growth.
Marjorie Thompson in her book Soul Feast Poetically states that:
Silence is Gods first language
The Gift of Silence
I write this in the middle of the COVID-19 crisis. Like you, I have been hunkered down at home for over a month. As much as I want to get out, go back to work, and hang out with friends, I have been gifted time to pause. To look inward and listen to the silent voice of God. Within each one of us, there is light and shadow. In the silence, God speaks and the light shines into our souls. God clears away the petty busy distractions that strip us of peace to give us clarity about what is good and beautiful in our lives.