We’ve been parenting since the beginning of people. You would think we’d have it all figured out by now! But as each generation comes and goes, the times change and so do the rules. And each family has its own unique environment that they are shaping and that is shaping them. It gets real complicated real quick.
But there is one important thing that has remained the same all these years. Actions speak louder than words. God knew this, and that’s why when he was giving the Law to his people he put in instruction to help parents be better parents. Read what Moses passed on to the people of Israel.
6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7
What was Moses telling a million and a half parents to do? What parenting advice did he give to this people, trudging through the desert on their way to a hopefully happy home? He told them to talk to their kids. This instruction is all about our words, isn’t it?
In one way, sure. This is Moses telling us the importance of passing down instruction to our kids. Making sure they know right from wrong through our words. Our children won’t know the truth unless they hear it from us, unless we impress it on their hearts. We need to speak these words to our kids, and repeat it often.
Our words are important. And it can’t just be a quick list of instructions, a story we rush through, or a command that ends with “Because I said so.” It has to be a topic of conversation. Spending time with our kids “when you walk along the road,” talking with them about these things.
But it has to be more than words, doesn’t it? Dig a bit deeper in that text. What did Moses say? “Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Those are action words. Verbs. He’s saying, “Please talk about these things. But more than that, attach them to what you do.” It’s in our living them out that our kids know their importance.
Remember, Moses is talking about commandments. Commandments were always meant to be acted out, not just repeated for effect. Commandments are what you’re supposed to do, emphasis on “doing.” We pass down how we’re supposed to live, not by telling them but by showing our children.
This is one area that I know I’ve struggled with in the past. As much as I never wanted to say those four little words, there have been times when they’ve slipped out – “Because I said so.” But it’s always more influential and impactful to show our kids the right behavior rather than just tell them. When they see it in us, they’re more likely to repeat it themselves. And that gets to the heart of parenting. This isn’t about us, it’s about them. It’s not about how we can be served, but what we can do. It’s about creating an environment that reproducers believers who are trusting in God and walking with him. And that goal is worth all the hard work we put in as moms and dads.
How are your actions being repeated by your kids? What changes can you make today to produce better results?
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