Why calling someone an “idiot” is never a good debate strategy

It happened again today. I was casually glancing at social media and I witnessed a “facebook fight” between middle-age adults acting like sixth-grade bullies.

I don’t like to debate and argue, I am not good at it, and I don’t enjoy it. However, robust discussion and healthy exchange of competing ideas is an excellent thing. We make each other better when we can have reasoned conversations around dissenting viewpoints.

Back to the childish social media slapping contest. Nothing was solved, people were angry and a bit of humanity was lost. Is there a better way? Can we disagree and not resort to name-calling and dehumanizing? Yes, it begins by asking ourselves these questions:

Do I really know what I am talking about or am I simply offering an uninformed emotionally-driven opinion?

We are losing the ability to think critically. We get our information from biased sources, unreliable outlets, social media bites, and groupthink. Before we enter into a debate or shut someone down do the hard work of research and fact-finding. Look at multiple sources from different points of view. Don’t limit your study to those who support what you already believe, but expand your horizon which increases your ability to think deeply.

Are my comments helpful to the discussion or are they passive-aggressive (or just plain aggressive) cheap shots?

Dave Rubin writes:

[We have] replaced the battle of ideas with a battle of feelings, while trading honesty with outrage.

Dont Burn this Book p.2

If the aim is to hurt someone you no longer have a healthy exchange, you have a brawl.

Am I ok with someone disagreeing with me?

You have the right to disagree with me AND I have there right to disagree with you. Just because I disagree with you I am not going to call you an idiot, evil, hater, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, or whatever words are popular these days to label and diminish, in turn, I don’t want to be labeled any of those things either.

If I can’t handle someone disagreeing with me than I lose my credibility.

Is it possible I might be wrong?

I am not always right, and neither are you (I know what a shocking statement to make). Over the years I have changed my mind on lots of things. Some of the most humble grace-filled words we can say: “I was wrong”.

Let’s have tuff conversations, listen to each other, respect each other, and lay off the name-calling, it just makes the name-caller look foolish and pushes us further apart.