Pause

I’ve asked you to spend some time in self-reflection this week. To create some space in life to take a deep look at yourself, at what is going on inside. Reflect on a bit on your life, what is important. And examine what is going on, your motivations and your values. When we see ourselves more clearly, we see God more clearly.

Self-reflection is not inviting God to know me, he already does. It’s inviting him to help me know me. It’s getting to know about you in a very specific way. And it’s powerful too!

Tasha Eurich studies self-reflection and its effect on CEOs, executives, and business leaders. She wrote about it in her book simply called Insight. Her research has shown that people who are self-aware are happier, make better decisions at work and at home, and even raise more mature children. But when we’re delusional about ourselves, we frustrate and alienate the people around us too.

But self-reflection doesn’t mean that we don’t like ourselves. When we see ourselves clearly, we shouldn’t be afraid of what we see. It’s when our self-vision is cloudy that we’re more likely to not see what we like. In fact, Eurich points out that those who have clear self-reflection are more forgiving of others and accepting of themselves. They have higher empathy and make better friends.

So, what does her research say about putting this into practice?. What I really liked about her work is that she identified seven pillars of insight, different things we need to be looking for when we undergo self-reflection. I think if you need to have an outline as you go through your moment of self-reflection this week, then this is it.

1. Values

These are the core set of principles that guide how we want to live our lives. This is what’s most important to you. You can think of them as non-negotiables. You can change or adapt where you live, what you do for a living, or even who you hang out with. But your values will never change.

Ask yourself, “What do I really care about?”

2. Passions

This is what we love to do. What gets you up in the morning, what you’re interested in, and what you just can’t live without. You may have a passion for teaching, for the ’82 Brewers, needlework, leading – it doesn’t matter! It’s up to you.

Ask yourself, “What really gets me going?”

3. Aspirations

Passions are what you love to do, but aspirations are where you want to go. It’s what we want out of life. It involves your occupation, your family relationships, and the goals you set. But it’s so much more than that. It’s thinking long-term about your life and how you intend to get there.

Ask yourself, “Where am I going?”

4. Fit

This is the type of environment you need to be happy and engaged. It can be your workplace, your neighborhood, where you want to go to school, but also includes the type of people you fit in with. We don’t all fit together all the time. I love that church is a place where different can be the same. But that doesn’t mean we have to be around each other all the time. What’s your fit?

Ask yourself, “What do I need to be fulfilled?”

5. Patterns

These are the consistent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving across situations. Not just when things are going good, but when things don’t always go your way. Actions lead to behaviors over time, and that’s your patterns.

Ask yourself, “What am I thinking and doing?”

6. Reactions

Your the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors when you respond to others. When something happens to you, how do you react? We all have our own set of reactions that can define your life.

Ask yourself, “What are my triggers?”

7. Impact

Finally, this is how our behavior affects others. We often think of self-reflection as all about me. But this is where we take into account those around us. When I get moody, who’s watching and taking notes? When I respond the wrong way, who gets hurt. But when I act thoughtfully, who gains from that?

Ask yourself, “What legacy am I leaving behind?”

Next time you spend time in self-reflection, try using these seven ideas as a guide.