Struggles: Part 3

There once was a man whose son was in a very bad way. For years he tried everything he could think of. He spent nearly a fortune on physicians who offered little help and no cure. Eventually, his condition was diagnosed as a demonic disorder.

The young boy would experience violent seizures, throwing him to the ground. It was like this since he could walk. It stole his power to speak, even. When these seizures came on, he would clamp his mouth shut, his eyes rolling back in his head and his mouth frothing. He looked like a lunatic.

The worst part was how these demonic seizures would try to kill him. Get him close to a campfire, and the demon would lurch the boy towards the flame. Visit the coastline, and the evil spirit would hurl him into the waves. It sought to take his very life.

Whenever a visiting preacher would come around, the man would take every opportunity to seek spiritual help. He would prepare a large dinner for the teacher, catering to his every need. He would spend time with the preacher. He would beg for help. But none came.

His friends were convinced it was all his fault. “Have you prayed about it?” they would ask, as if this never occurred to the struggling father. “Maybe you haven’t prayed hard enough. Maybe you’re not using the right words. Maybe there’s some hidden sin in your life blocking this blessing.” All their words, completely helpless.

Then one day a preacher came to town. No ordinary preacher. Word of this man’s miracles and teaching had been spreading like wildfire lately. And he was passing near. He pushed aside the crowds and lay his trembling son at the feet of this man’s disciples. But they could do nothing either. He was at his wit’s end. Then the Master appeared. His name was Jesus.

“What is all this about?” he asked.

The father got to his knees, clasping his hands together. “I brought my son so you could heal him…if you can”

“If I can?” Jesus replied, his eyes wide.

“I do believe! Help my unbelief.”

This story is true. These words are recorded in the ninth chapter of Mark’s Gospel. And the outcome is there for you as well. But I’m not interested in the answer to prayer today. I’m more interested in the struggle this father went through. Because it’s the same struggle I’ve had, and I think maybe you have too.

When our struggle is with God it can be…complicated. Aren’t we supposed to have unwavering faith in God? Isn’t faith the antidote to any doubts? Don’t we call ourselves “believers”? How can we struggle with belief.

“I do believe! Help my unbelief.”

When we struggle with God, it usually comes out as either accusation or doubt. On the one hand, we believe God should do whatever we ask when we ask it. If he’s an omnipotent and all-loving God, he will right? If he doesn’t then maybe he’s not all-powerful or all-loving. Maybe he’s not there at all. We struggle with God and fire off a well-meaning “Why” followed by a well-placed “If.” But our struggle always end up falling flat.

Instead, what about taking on the attitude of this father. “I believe. Help my unbelief.”

First, we affirm that we believe. We affirm that our belief is not determined by our own desired outcome to any situation. Our belief is grounded in the person of Jesus Christ, alive and active in our world.

Next, we affirm our unbelief. We don’t hide the fact that we’re having trouble with this thing. Besides, we can’t keep a secret from an all-knowing God. So why not let it out.

Finally, we know the span between our belief and our unbelief. There is a distance we must cross. But thankfully we don’t cross it alone. That distance is spanned by who we believe in, not what. We believe in someone, not something.

When we throw all our energy of our struggle behind the person we truly believe in, then the outcome of our situation is less important than the relationship we cling to. It’s not about solving our doubts, but fueling our trust in him. I know it’s hard. Believe me, I do. But it’s all worth it in the end. It’s a struggle worth having.