Grit

I have met a lot of great people. I have met great parents, great husbands, and wives. I have met great leaders and read the biography or autobiography of other great people. Of all the successful people I have met or read about, they all have one intangible quality about them: they have grit. Grit is resolve, the ability to push through. People with grit do not give up. Life can be tough, we all know that. When things are challenging or when things do not go like we planned, how would we respond? Will with throw our hands up in the air and give up or will we push through?

Grit is especially required in marriage and vocation.

All relationships take work. Most relationships will go through rough times. We are all people, and as people, we will do and say things that complicate relationships and hurt others. In year eleven of my marriage, the relationship with my wife hit a wall. In every marriage, it is rarely one person’s fault. I will speak to my failure.  I was a workaholic, gone all the time, and seemingly more interested in other people than my family. I was burnt out and becoming detached. One day our marriage imploded and it was rough, for both of us. The reality of divorce seemed all too close. During the hardest of times, the one thing that got us through was grit, the raw courage to not give up, to work on it, to fix it.

Our work and vocation can  be particularly exhausting. Each vocation comes with its own unique challenges, mine included. I love what I do. I love being a Pastor. The church I serve is vibrant, generous and life-giving. I so appreciate that I get to do life with the staff I serve and the people I lead.  In the scriptures, the role of Pastor is described as “Shepherd.” Shepherds lead sheep. Sometimes sheep bite, and it hurts. Over the past 20 years I have been unfairly criticized, personally attacked, yelled at, manipulated…you get the point. Every job has its vocational hazards. As a result, many of my colleagues have quit; well over 50% of those I was in school with gave up on church work before they truly got started. In some cases, I don’t blame them. I almost quit myself. What kept me going? Grit. I decided not to give up. The first few years of my ministry my income was very low. To supplement it, I drove a delivery truck and worked as a substitute teacher, once I worked all three jobs on the same day! Those years were hard. What kept me going? Grit. Pure determination to not give up. To keep fighting and pushing when it would have been easier to throw in the towel.  I remember distinctly the day I stood at the end of my driveway looking out at Pikes Peak (I lived in Colorado) talking on the phone with my dad. I was done. I asked my dad if he could get me a job at his company. He said he could, but I would not be happy. It was not what I was called to do. It was some of the best advice I was ever given, and I pushed on.

Travis Bradbury, an expert in emotional intelligence, once said, “Humans are creatures of habit. If you quit when things get tough, it gets that much easier to give up the next time. On the other hand, if you force yourself to push through it, the grit begins to grow in you.”

Grit is something you can grow. It grows by the practice of not giving up. Whether it’s marriage, parenting, your job or school, you will need grit to push through. Let’s all commit to being a little grittier. You never know what good things await if you only push a little harder.